The list feels endless, when it comes to the 24-hour news cycle and increased social media visibility of school shootings, airline crashes, the political landscape, climate change and general human existence. Not to mention the lingering effects of the pandemic, both social and academic, has left children in the U.S. suffering from a level of anxiety like never before.
According to a recent federal report on teen health, roughly 1 in 5 teens say they suffer from anxiety or depression. “At its core, anxiety is about perception of threat,” says Everett Logan, director of external affairs at Mountain Valley Treatment Center in Pike, New Hampshire, a residential treatment facility that works with teens affected by anxiety.
“Anxiety is very much a physiological response as much as it is a psychological response. What anxiety is saying is that ‘you are in danger,’ and then we need to be prepared to either fight this danger or run away from this danger or freeze,” he says.
“The world feels chaotic, the world feels dangerous” and it’s left children feeling “a disruption of safety,” Logan says. There is an overwhelming fear of “what’s next,” say those like Logan who work directly with children — including teachers, school psychologists and child psychiatrists.
That general feeling is exacerbated by what kids see on social platforms, such as TikTok. “There’s a real sense of vicarious trauma that occurs when you’re constantly bombarded by people who struggle or have horrible things happen to them,” Logan says. “There’s only so much of that your brain can take in without drawing conclusions that ‘I am also at risk of these bad things happening,’” especially when the repetitive exposure pummels a brain that’s still in a developmental stage. (The human brain doesn’t stop developing until about age 25, according to molecular imaging and functional genomics studies of neurological development).
“You can always feel worse about yourself by just putting your hand in your pocket,” says Dr. Catherine McCarthy, a board-certified child psychiatrist in private practice in the Washington, D.C., area. She is quick to point out that the smartphone is only one ingredient in a perfect storm of today’s realities, including the traditional sources of teen anxiety that haven’t gone away — everything from academic performance pressures to bullying — and the trickle-down effect of parent anxieties. “Kids see how anxious their parents are, (so) they are speaking less to their parents about their (own) needs because they don’t want their parents to worry,” says McCarthy, who co-authored, “Raising a Kid Who Can: Simple Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Adaptability and Emotional Strength.”
“The inevitable consequence of avoiding our anxiety is more anxiety,” says Jeffrey D. Shahidullah, a pediatric psychologist and assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Dell Medical School at The University of Texas at Austin. “Many (young people) come to rely on screens as a means to cope emotionally with strong feelings,” he says, leaving the cycle of bombardment in an escalating loop.
All of it has parents worrying. According to The Pew Charitable Trusts, mental health tops the list of concerns parents have for their children, that’s over violence and drug use.
Humans have always been anxious
Built into our DNA, anxiety is important. After all, having a heightened sense of lurking danger is what helped our ancestors avoid falling off a cliff, say, or being eaten by a saber- toothed tiger, Logan says. “But, when anxiety stops us from living our life, like going to school or socializing, that’s a bad thing,” he says.
Childhood anxiety and the dramatic rise in teen and pre-teen suicide prompted the 2022 release of new guidelines that recommend pediatricians screen children 8 and older for anxiety and those 12 to 18 years for anxiety and depression. While screening helps, it doesn’t solve the problem of too few mental health professionals. And according to the Health Resources and Services Administration, 160 million Americans live in mental health deserts.
How to help a child with severe anxiety
“Validate the feelings, but don’t validate the fear,” Logan tells parents. That means focus exclusively on how your child feels and avoid talking about their specific fear. Be calm, curious and pose questions, he suggests, asking things such as: “It looks like things are really hard for you right now, is there something you’d like to talk about?” And avoid downplaying their feelings. So, don’t say, “Everything’s fine, it’s nothing to worry about.” And, most important, avoid being critical.
Validating feelings, Logan notes, doesn’t mean accommodating fears. “Shielding them from distress feeds into the anxiety maintenance cycle and only makes the anxiety worse,” he says.
For children unable to turn to their parents for help, McCarthy recommends reaching out to someone in the community, including a teacher, a school psychologist or guidance counselor, even an academic advisor. Additionally, there are many resources, including books and online sources that may help.
Signs of anxiety
Avoidance behavior: avoiding school, after- school activities or friends
Clinging to or acting overly attached to parents, especially for teenagers
Substance abuse: “Since substance abuse rarely occurs in a vacuum. …(It) could be an indication of anxiety,” Logan says.
Decline in school performance
Panic attacks
Trouble sleeping
Ailments/Somatic symptoms: “Because anxiety is physiological, people can develop a lot of somatic symptoms,” says Logon. That includes GI symptoms, trouble eating, stomachaches, restlessness and fatigue. “Separating mental and physical health is an arbitrary distinction,” Logan says. “We are one system.”
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR CHILDREN AND PARENTS:
Teletherapy: While tele-therapy is making it easier to access youth mental health services, Dr. Jeffrey D. Shahidullah, does not advise teletherapy for children until they are at least 8 years old, “although this depends on the child and presenting concern,” he says. “It’s most helpful when parents are involved in the therapy to the extent that it makes sense for the treatment goals.”
Books
Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents, Eli R. Lebowitz, PhDRaising a Kid Who Can: Simple Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Adaptability and Emotional Strength, Catherine McCarthy, MD, Heather Tedesco, PhD, Jennifer Weaver, LCSWI Choose to Calm My Anxiety: A Colorful, Picture Book About Soothing Strategies for Anxious Children, a part of the “I Choose” book set, by Elizabeth Estrada
Associations
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADA). The ADA’s websites includes blogs, webinars, videos and podcastsThe Child Mind Institute. The organization has a Family Resource Center that offers tips and tools on various subject matters including mental health.GoZen! is a website specifically targeted for children and teens audience and is approved by ADA
Podcasts
For parents: Ask Lisa: The Psychology of ParentingFor children: Dear Anxiety, by GoZen!For parents and children: Like You: Mindfulness for Kids Podcast
YouTube
For parents: LiveOnPurposeTVFor children: Teen Code: How We Cope with Anxiety & Stress, by MTVFor parents and children: Jools TV
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